HR leaders are burning their relationship bridges
How strong are your relationship building skills as a HR Professional?
It is amazing that we in HR constantly profess our strength in relationship building and dare we say, boast of how successful our relationships are; but then proceed to demonstrate completely the opposite, on a regular basis. Consider these simple examples.
HR Professional A, decides he wants to change jobs. He doesn’t tell his boss with whom he assures us he has an excellent relationship where he is highly valued. So he makes applications elsewhere, secures his “dream” job, and then notifies his boss who is immensely surprised, and disappointed. We all know that the interview part of an executive hiring process is typically 3-13 weeks, which means Professional A has been sneaking about, getting through that with no alert to his boss until the resignation is advised. So where is the consideration for the value of that relationship?
“Should you claim a 100% positive relationship with your HR executives, if you cannot even let them know you’re planning a career move? ”
Total Reward Professional B, decides she wants to change jobs. A skilled interviewer elicits the real motivations for this professional leaving her job, which include high levels of dissatisfaction in how she’s being managed by her boss and how she is treated by other stakeholders on a regular basis. Rather than try to fix the situation, she has decided to just leave as soon as possible. So what does this say to the interviewer with regards to Professional B’s success in having built quality relationships?
Leadership Development Professional C, decides she wants to change jobs. As part of her interview answers, she regularly references (by name!) the people in her team and her business unit, who are poor performers and/or leaders. In fact, she doesn’t speak well of anyone in her organisation. What does this say to the interviewer with regards to Professional C’s values on relationships?
“How you speak of your stakeholders and colleagues as a HR professional can directly impact the perceptions of you by others”
Labor Law Professional D, decides he wants to change jobs. He does this with the reluctant blessing of his boss, and goes through various interview processes elsewhere adamant that he is going to move. He secures multiple offers, but is then enticed to stay with his original employer. What has this done to the relationship (and his reputation) with those potential employers who now view him as having wasted their time?
Talent Acquisition Professional E is interviewing for a hire within her own team. She cannot be bothered to give quality feedback (if any at all) to candidates; so what kind of relationship building skill is this? Additionally, when the interviews are over, she openly mocks the failings of candidates with other members of her team. What does this say to her staff about her relationship values?
Why are relationship building skills critical for HR executives today?
It’s a simple science. You can be the greatest technician on the planet, have the smartest intellect, be the very best at whatever skill or experience is needed. But if people don’t connect with you or trust you, they won’t support you, won’t follow you, and certainly won’t be inspired by you. In the case of direct reports, many just won’t stay working for you. For others, through 360 degree reviews, engagement surveys and satisfaction metrics, they’ll be increasingly vocal about their concerns if they’re unhappy working with you. Be clear - this isn’t about people liking you, although that can be a side benefit.
If you aren’t perceived to have empathy or respect for others. If your decisions and/or actions are not perceived to be fair, consistent and honorable. Then you’ll struggle to achieve a positive and healthy professional relationship with people equal, above and below you in the company hierarchy. You will certainly struggle to influence, inspire and successfully collaborate with others. Which means you just won’t be as effective on delivering your objectives, as you could and should be. Ultimately, today, this will limit your career prospects.
100% of leaders we speak with across the HR function, claim to have exceptional relationship building skills. And whilst they clearly believe this of themselves, we’ve found it too often to be not true. We’re astonished at how many bullies we’ve met in the ranks of the HR function. Saddened at how many HR professionals are sexist, racist, ageist, or just plain mean; and who revel in lording a misdirected power over others. We’re disappointed in how many HR folks focus on getting what they want or need from others by applying “policy police” intimidation tactics. It is indeed ironic that the HR profession is regularly touting the essential need for strong relationship building skills for everyone else across the entire business, when they don’t always have their own house in order. But hopefully we’re nearing the end of the days of “wielding a stick” and applying threats to get results, as more and more HR executives understand that better engagement and cooperation can be gained when leveraging positive relationships.
More than at any other time in the corporate world, relationships are proving to be key, and they’re now commonly explored and tested repeatedly from many different angles in any comprehensive interview process. They’re also probed further through an array of third party assessments and through informal and formal reference checking processes, which are increasingly taken from people who are peers and direct reports rather than just the leaders of a candidate, and from vendors and ex employees. It’s getting harder for the HR executive who isn’t successful for building relationships, to hide this reality. And we’ve seen many a company decline an otherwise “perfect” HR professional, simply because of a niggle over relationship competencies.
So, if you’re going to claim a strength in relationship building, you’d better apply the skill all of the time, rather than just when it suits you in your “day job”. The HR community is surprisingly small. You just don’t know who knows who and how often people compare notes on shared connections. And you never know when you're likely to need or want to be working with someone again. Take care not to burn those proverbial bridges......
Alison Burgess
Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.